


One Crazy Ass School Night

by dapperghost



Series: A Very Strider Life [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Humor, and D is an idiot, and Dirk seems to be the only responsible one, basically these guys are nuts, striders, suggestion by a friend, tw: drug mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 19:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1523381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapperghost/pseuds/dapperghost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk has realized that his brothers are all total idiots. Especially D.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Crazy Ass School Night

**Author's Note:**

> This was a suggestion by a friend I did. Again, Striders are all one big ass happy family with D as the oldest, then Bro, then Dirk, and lastly Dave.
> 
> You don't have to read the other fic to understand it, but it kinda might help. I wrote this on mobile too, so I apologize for any errors.

Dirk woke up to an odd kind of music playing, and he sat up tiredly, rubbing at his eyes. He glanced at the clock. It read two thirteen A.M. Well fuck. There was nobody in the apartment except for his brothers. Which meant they were the source of whatever was going on. 

He forced himself to leave the comfort of his bed to investigate. What he found was not a pretty sight at all. His brothers had gone completely, batshit bananas. Bro was on the table, dancing in only his boxers. Not only that, they were neon pink with kittens on them. Dave was swinging from a fancy lamp they had decided to hang on the ceiling for the sheer irony of it. And D was attempting to put out a flaming stove. And to top off the chaos souffle was the song "Jungle Boogie" playing in the background.

He had no clue what to deal with first. But that music was annoying the shit out of him. He stormed over to the radio, shutting off the idiotic song. Bro had tumbled off the table when the song was shut off, and Dave had dropped down from the lamp. Well two problems fixed. Kind of. He still had no fucking clue what was going on.

He went over to the eldest of the four, who was still frantically trying to put out the fire. "What the fuck is going on dude? Has everyone lost their fucking mind? Also why the hell are you trying to cook again like Jesus Christ D do you not learn?" 

D turned around to the other. "Well I have no clue what's up with them. But I was hungry okay? And I can't make my badass movies on empty stomach. It's like the president trying to run America in his goddamn underwear. It just doesn't work man." 

"Alright fine. But seriously do you have any goddamn clue what might be up with them?" Dirk motioned to the two other brothers who were laying on the floor, looking somewhat bewildered. 

"Well....I brought home some punch from a party I went to?" 

Dirk facepalmed. "Goddammit D! You don't ever take punch from parties man! That's like partygoing rule number one! Now they're high off something thanks to you." Dirk huffed in annoyance. 

"Woah woah okay I'm sorry I'm sorry. Sheesh. They'll get over it. Now I got some sick fires to take care of. And not the good kind." 

D turned back to the stove, going back to attempting to put it out again. Dirk felt D could /probably/ handle it. It was then he felt a hand on his shoulder, and heard his other older brother's voice in his ear. 

"Dirk. You need ta chill out. I am currently prescribin' some medical twerks. Five to be exact. To be taken...Now. And if that don't work. Ten," Bro said, his voice obviously betraying how high he was at the moment.

Dirk flailed, making Bro fall on his ass. But at the moment Dirk didn't even care. He had gone back to watching D, who was epically failing at trying to put the fire out. 

"Dude I'm not in the mood."

"But duuude," Dave whined. 

"No, Dave."

He was about to go get the fire blanket to help put it out, when the song "Too Legit to Quit" came on the radio. Goddammit. He thought he turned that thing off. He turned around, only to see Bro and Dave twerking right there. 

"C'mon Dirk, join us!"

"Yeah dude!" 

Dirk pulled at his perfect hair in frustration. "AUGH STOOP!!" 

The yelling made both Dave and Bro freeze. Meanwhile a shout of success was heard from D's direction. He had finally put out the fire. 

"I did it!! Fuck yes man I'm not only famous, but also a fucking world class fire fighter. Hell yes," the eldest said.

"D, you fucking started the fire and-" Dirk was cut off as he turned around, the sight stopping his words in their tracks. On the stove, burnt and still slightly smoking, was his most treasured Rainbow Dash blanket. His mouth hung open in shock, before his face went completely red in rage. "D!!! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE BLANKET!! THAT'S IT!! I AM FUCKING DONE. STRIFE. HERE. NOW. LET'S GO!!"

Meanwhile, during all that, the drugs combined with the partying had wore the other two Striders out, and they were sleeping soundly on the floor. They were cuddling there together, and in any other situation Dirk may have stopped to snap a picture. But he was too angry. And now it was just him and D.

D held up his hands in surrender. "Woah woah woah. Dude chill. I don't think now is the best time to strife. I'll just go out and buy you a new blanket tomorrow," he said.

"Tonight," Dirk ground out. He was in no mood to be patient. 

"Alright alright fine. I'm going I'm going. It's the least I can do." 

"Yeah! For starting all this!"

"Exactly."

"And on a fucking school night too!"

But D was already gone. Since Dirk was to angry to sleep at the moment, he decided to clean up some. He turned off the music, and cleaned up the stove, before laying a blanket over the two unconscious Striders on the floor. It wasn't really their fault anyways. He then went down and sat on the couch to wait.

He didn't have to wait long, however, before D returned. And he had the nerve to return empty handed too. Dirk hoped he had a good explaination for this. 

"I forgot. We were kicked out of Wal-Mart," D said embarrassedly. 

Dirk just groaned.


End file.
